


Hopelessly in love

by lucasli



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Elias breaks down, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23485180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucasli/pseuds/lucasli
Summary: It always was the same story; Peter would show up, either from a long journey on the Tundra or out of the thin air, and they would nag and bicker around each other until that strange ache in both their cold hearts became too painful to bear, and they would end up in Elias’ flat. What happened there could be anything from a soft and trusting dance, to noise complaints from the neighbours. Then they would be a couple for a while, even marry at times. Things were good then.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	Hopelessly in love

One could easily say that Peter Lukas and Elias Bouchard were hopelessly in love with each other. They weren’t the usual definition of hopeless love where you can’t really do much other than obsess over the person you love. No, far from it. Elias and Peters love was just hopeless.   
They did love each other dearly but it all came crashing down in the end. Sometimes it was Elias’ constant watching, other time it was the large wedge of loneliness that Peter drove between them. Sometimes it was something extremely petty or ridiculous that drove them over the edge. Sometimes it was just them.  
It always was the same story; Peter would show up, either from a long journey on the Tundra or out of the thin air, and they would nag and bicker around each other until that strange ache in both their cold hearts became too painful to bear, and they would end up in Elias’ flat. What happened there could be anything from a soft and trusting dance, to noise complaints from the neighbours. Then they would be a couple for a while, even marry at times. Things were good then. Good, warm days spent together doing everything and nothing. They or Elias could talk for hours or they could savour the quiet peace between them and their synched hearts.  
Then it would all fell apart, crushing each of them with terrible emotions. Sometimes it was a big fight, sometimes it was quiet. In the end it didn’t really matter. It would all repeat itself again.  
Today was no special day. It was dark and cold outside. Night had long since draped London with its wistful cloak, and many of the city’s residents were sleeping. Though there were some people who were awake. It always was. Everywhere and anywhere, there would always be people up at ungodly times of the night. The reason someone could still be up differed a lot. It could be gaming, a crying child, work, insomnia, a tragedy, an outing, anything. But one thing was in common for all these people and why they were awake, loneliness.   
Peter and Elias were also up, and they were fighting again. They tried their best not to shout to not wake the neighbours, it was too much of a hassle with the complaints. This fight was different though. The fights were usually much the same, but not this one. This one was far too intimate.  
Elias couldn’t exactly remember why they were fighting, something to do with his work schedule he thought. Yes, Peter thought Elias worked too much and then he had made a comment on Peter preferring to be alone anyway and now they were fighting. Peter were saying something about Elias never listening to him, but he was too tired to fully listen. He just wanted to curl up on Peter’s chest and sleep, at least for a little. But it didn’t seem like that would happen anytime soon.   
It took a while before Elias noticed he was crying. He couldn’t remember the last time he had genuinely cried. He only noticed when Peter gave him a strange look and his cheeks felt weirdly wet. Elias bowed his head down, ashamed to be crying over something so ridiculous as a fight.  
“This is why it never works”, he said with a shaky voice.  
“What never works?” Peter asked.  
“Us, Peter”, the words were quiet but hard. The air around them became silent. Elias didn’t try to wipe away his tears, he didn’t want to bother. He was sick and tired of always falling in love and then destroying it, either by himself or Peter. He hated it.  
“It’s hopeless”, he mumbled, sniffing quietly.   
“I know”, Peter said. Elias looked up, half expecting to see Peter covered in fog, but he wasn’t, not yet.   
“Why do we keep doing this? Why do we keep circling this bloody curse of a dance we’ve created?” Elias almost shouted the words, but a small bit of pride kept him from. Peter was silent to this.  
“Do, do you want me to leave?” he asked quietly. Elias would’ve laughed if he wasn’t sobbing.  
“No, no, I don’t want you to leave”, he said. “I want you to be here and I want to love you and know you but it’s all too hopeless.” The tears were making it hard to breathe, it felt like he was choking.  
“I am well aware that I am impossible to deal with and an asshole, but I don’t want to be like that when I’m with you, but I can’t.” the words were streaming out of him.   
“I know I make things difficult and am selfish, and dramatic, and undeserving of you, but I don’t want to be that. I wish I could be better, but I don’t know how. All I know is that I need you.” Elias was breaking down. His confession was out, and he was empty. He was vulnerable and he hated it and himself. Hated himself for what he was and hated the fact that Peter loved him even at times like this. Even if he was only repeating himself over and over, it was the truth. And sometimes you need to tell yourself something over and over before you learn.  
Elias wondered if Peter had already left. He was probably tired of his ramblings anyway. But that was only until two strong arms wrapped themselves around him and pressing him into that chest and beard he knew so well. Peter. Elias clung to the other man as he tried to stop crying. It truly was a hopeless and pitiful sight.   
“Why do you bother?” Elias asked when he could talk again without sobbing.  
“Either routine, stupidity or love”, Peter said. “Maybe all three.” Elias chuckled at the answer.  
“I still don’t get it”, he said.   
“Maybe you don’t have to”, Peter said. He knew it was a ridiculous and cheesy thing to say, especially to an avatar of an all-knowing god. But it seemed to make Elias smile, at least for now.  
“I love you”, Elias spoke softly. “And, I’m sorry.”  
“Sorry for what?” Peter asked, even though he somewhat knew the answer.  
“That I love you, and make things difficult”, the shorter man explained. Peter sighed.  
“Love and you are difficult things, and that’s what makes them so wonderful, don’t you think?” he said.  
“When did you become so sappy?” Elias asked jokingly. Peter laughed before he kissed Elias.  
It was these small moments that made it all worth it in the end. Neither of them were perfect, especially Elias who was far from it. But maybe that was why they loved each other so dearly. And maybe their hopeless love wasn’t so hopeless after all?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when it was pretty late and I was feeling a bit sad and empty, so the story and grammar might be a bit shit. Also I have no idea how to tag this one, so the tagging might be a bit all over the place. Anyway I hope you enjoyed it!


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